How The Birth Control Pill Should Have Been Marketed

(anyone from any media is free to yoink this - just get in touch with me so I get some credit)

(and women excluded from this marketing campaign since we'd have been smart enough to get on board with it but it would have sold ALL the men on it)


How They Should Have Marketed The Birth Control Pill (Commercial)

(DR is a 50s esque cartoon animation of a doctor.  Bonus points if he has a cigarette in his mouth)

(50s Man is your Mad Men era male, sitting in his arm chair, suit jacket off but still business clothes and looking a bit disrumpled, with some kind of cocktail in his hand.  More bonus points if he is also smoking)

DR: Hey you, what's the problem?

50s Man: (looking surprised until he sees the cartoon) What?  Huh?  Oh, hello there, doctor.

DR: Anything I can diagnose?

50s Man: I wish.  My wife is angry with me and I have no idea why.

DR: Then you might want to have her look in to "The Women's Pill"

50s Man: The Women's Pill?

DR: Oh, it's this great thing scienticians have come up with.  Does your wife seem to get like this every 28 days or so?

50s Man: Yes!

DR: And it's when she's either laid up in bed for days and/or not up for her wifely duties?

50s Man: Yes!

DR: (slight laughing) Well my man, that is called hormones.

(50s Man winces)

DR:  I know, I know, not a subject we like to talk about.  But what if I told you there was a magic pill she could take that might make it all go away?

50s Man: (suddenly bright) YES!

DR: Well, there is now a little pill your wife can take...

50s Man: Well what about those other pills the doctor gave her?

DR: Oh, this one deals with more than just her minor glooms.

50s Man: Tell me more!

DR: Well (slight laughing again) without going in to gory details, it may help to improve her moods and lessen her simptoms during those times so she can spent more time getting ready for you to come home from the office.

50s Man: Wow!  Really?

DR: Of course!  And she may be able to get back to ALL wifely duties sooner.

50s Man: WOW!  What else?

DR: Oh, there are benefits for you, too....

50s Man: Benefits for me?  I always like more of those!  Like what?

DR: No more need for rubbers or the rhythm method, my boy, if you're not trying to have more children.

50s Man: Wow, how do I get her on this miracle drug?

DR: Just ask your doctor for her since you're a man and can ask for her!

50s Man: Wow, that sounds great!  (looks thoughtful for a moment) Say doc, my 17 year old daughter is starting to show some of the same symptoms.  Could this help her, too?

DR: OF course it can!

50s Man: But the uh... reproductive side effects....

DR: We don't need to explain that to her!!!

(both laugh, fade sceeen)